Apologies
by khooxp
Summary: This is a one-shot fic, where Kai tries to go and apologize to the Blitzkrieg boys after his betrayal, in a cold, snowy day in Russia, in hopes of being with them again. Kai reflects and finally understands. Full of angst and comfort. Hope you'll like it.


XP: Yo! This is a one-shot fic, where Kai tries to go and apologize to the Blitzkrieg boys after his betrayal, in a cold, snowy day in Russia... Hope you'll enjoy it. Full of Angst, and comfort (:

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**_****Begin****_**

"I'm sorry..._Please_..." A pleading voice, miserable.

"**_NO._** And I don't want to see you ever again. I hate you." A voice wavered, thick with hurt and betrayal.

"I knew that," Kai whispered, wiping tears from his eyes. "...I knew but i came..."

Tala refused to look Kai in the eyes. "Leave now," His voice was cold, one that left no room for arguments.

"...Sorry for bothering you," Kai said softly, turning to leave.

Kai has specially come to Russia to beg Tala to forgive him. To stay together with the Blitzkrieg boys like one whole big family again. Ian had sulked and said they were better off without a bastard like Kai, but his eyes showed sadness. Spencer had said he was okay with the final decision no matter what, but his eyes were full of nostalgic longing. Bryan cursed him and wanted to come beat him up himself, but there was pain in his eyes. Tala... Tala had been determined to reject Kai straight out but... he was hesitating. He must not hesitate, or the four of them will be betrayed again, and feel hurt.

Usually, Kai Hiwatari does not beg. Or cry. Or come all this way to apologise. Or just apologise. Or talk so much. But he did all those.

Tala took a shuddering breath, watching Kai's back as he walked off, watching the way he moved, the way his dual toned hair was caressed by the wind, the way his scarf danced behind him... It hurt. A lot. Tala wanted him back so much. But he couldn't. He couldn't hope for he'll fall down even deeper this time. He mustn't trust Kai any longer.

Was it really fine to leave things this way? Would the dull pain in his chest ever subside? Would the feeling of wanting to see Kai, hug Kai and laugh with Kai, ever disappear? But he was betrayed twice. And it hurt deeper each time, like someone stabbed his heart, twisted the knife, and pulled it out, leaving him to 'bleed' tears. Tala opened his mouth, as though wanting to stop Kai, but decided against it. He must stay strong... A tear dropped from Tala's eyes as he forcefully turned away from Kai's retreating back. He mustn't look at Kai or he'll fall.

Spencer was there, smiling sadly at him. Bryan stood beside him, and he had a blank face, though his eyes showed that empathy, and he reached out his arms... Tala ran into Bryan's arms, crying, sobs muffled by the fabric of Bryan's coat. Spencer joined the hug, keeping Tala warm and comforted in between them. It was like being in a cocoon, it was so nice and safe, the way they wrapped around him. They dislodged from each other and Tala immediately felt the icy coldness from Russia. Usually, he liked it, but today, it made him feel hollow.

Kai turned around and saw them together, his heart throbbing with pain. He tore his gaze away, and continued to walk away.

They walked to their car, and Ian looked worriedly at Tala when he opened the back door. Tala smiled a small, grim smile. Ian's eyes flashed with shock as Tala settled in and slammed the door shut hard. Tala turned and saw the startled look in Ian's eyes, and his expression softened. He ruffled Ian's hair affectionately. Ian relaxed and smiled up at him.

"...Do you guys think I made the right decision?" Tala asked quietly, a faraway look coming to his eyes.

"W-Well, if I have you, I don't need Kai! Who gives a damn about Kai?" Ian said quickly, looking at Tala, hoping he would cheer up.

"That fucking bastard hurt you too many times," Bryan growled, and he hesitated. He quickly convinced himself, "He's a horrible, selfish, bastard."

"...Tala, I've told you it's up to you. We believe in your decisions, and trust your reasons for them," Spencer said sensibly, starting to drive. He stared straight at the road, trying hard to focus.

"...You guys want him back, don't you...?" Tala asked softly. No one replied. "...I do too, but I... I'm afraid of falling... To fly, high in the sky, basking in happiness, then to slam down onto the ground hard from the top, it hurts... I... I can't deal with the pain again..."

Everyone remained silent for a while. Tala closed his eyes and leant against the car door. Ian watched him, biting his lower lip. He put his arm around Tala's waist and pulled him close, and closed his eyes when his head rested against Tala's shoulder. It was reassuring, and Tala relaxed into Ian's thoughtful gesture. "How sweet," Spencer chuckled. Bryan smirked as an answer.

They soon arrived at their cozy house, and everyone feel back into routine. Bryan and Ian went to challenge each other to games, and Tala watched lazily, lying in between the two, with his head on Bryan's lap. Bryan didn't mind the leg cramp he got afterwards, because Tala would fall asleep amidst the noise with a smile on his face, and a relaxed posture. Spencer would spend his time cleaning the house, preparing snacks for them, dinner, and other things, like a mum.

Soon enough, Tala fell asleep, dreaming of the old days when Kai was still here.

* * *

Kai was stubborn. Everyone knew that. So Kai would not stop trying to make Tala forgive Kai sat in a cafe, sipping his coffee, thinking about what he should do next. It was true, he always went back, and Tala forgave him easily, even though he could see the hurt in Tala's eyes. But Kai didn't even promise them he would stay. Leaving and joining another team was... well, he did leave without saying anything, but that was kind of his style.

Why did Tala take it as betrayal? Why did Tala take it that Kai didn't want to be part of them anymore? Why did his eyes flash with hurt each time he saw Kai with the Bladebreakers? Why did his eyes watch with longing as Kai walked away? Why must Tala be so emotional and inflexible, dammit? Why can't Kai join other teams and be accepted for it? No one said he had to stay with them all the time, for every competition. He did not sign a contract.

So why... why was Tala so upset?

Then, he took out an envelope, given to him by Spencer. In it was an old photo of all of them standing together on the frozen snow of Russia, laughing with arms around one another. There was also a new photo, of the rest of them without Kai, smiling, with Bryan pinching Tala's cheeks, Ian hugging Tala's waist, and Spencer ruffling Ian's head, and Tala was laughing and squirming away from Bryan's hands.

Then, he felt that stabbing pain. Pain that he wasn't there with them, to share that precious moment, precious memory with them. Then Kai understood. It finally dawned on him, the truth why Tala was so upset. He understood why his heart hurt when he saw the rest of the Blitzkrieg boys close together, hugging each other for comfort. He wanted to be with them. They were important to him. To see them so close, yet so far... it hurt. He wanted so much to be with them again...

Kai took out a letter, a simple short message.

**_Now do you understand?_**

Kai started to cry. He sobbed, and sobbed, pushing his way out of the cafe. Dammit, he regretted everything. It hurt...

He was surprised when he saw Bryan and Spencer outside the cafe, as though waiting for him. Bryan held a look of reluctance, while Spencer held a small, sad smile. He blinked when Spencer extended an arm, wiping away his tears gently. And he was stunned when Bryan put his arm around Kai, giving him warmth, leading him to the car. "What...?" Kai let the question hang.

"We're bringing you home," Spencer smiled. "Well, that is, if you still want to go. I think you finally understood."

"But...Tala...?" Kai questioned in a confused, hurt tone.

"He'll understand," Bryan sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "Hell, he was mumbling your name in his sleep. But listen up, if you **DARE** to ever hurt Tala again, I'll kill you with my own hands."

Kai smiled through his tears, and nodded. He was going to go home with them...

**_Home, where people important to him were, people whom he would cherish from now on. _**

**_***End***_**

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_**XP: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. Thanks for reading! (:


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